My sister shared this article she saw in the Salt Lake Tribune on Dec 30th. It was written by Michelle Lehnardt. I think it is good info for all women. When we were growing up my Mom tried to teach us tolerance with the mantra, "everyone is doing the best they can". I think we should take that attitude sometimes for ourselves. Read her words they are pretty good:
Two recent studies have spotlighted Utah and Salt Lake City. First, according to Mental Health America, Utah is the most depressed state in the nation. I wasn't surprised in the least by the findings.
I've heard about the legions of Mormon women on Prozac for years, and have seen depression up close in my friends and relatives.
The second study was done by Forbes magazine, and declares Salt Lake City the most vain city in the United States. Forbes was shocked by its own findings (based primarily on plastic surgeons per capita) but again, I wasn't surprised.
Any outing in Salt Lake whether it be to a sporting event, PTA meeting, or baby shower reveals masses of gorgeous women who work very hard to maintain their beauty.
So do these studies have a connection? Does our vanity, our obsession with perfection , our worries about what others think contribute to depression? I believe they do.
Salt Lake City is a haven of outdoor sports, clean living, and fresh faces. But it is also a society with an inexplicable desire to "measure up". This isn't simply an LDS phenomenon, but our unique population mix seems to encourage everyone to go "faster, higher, stronger".
In many ways this friendly competition and desire to succeed are good things. Utah boasts more charitable service hours per capita than any other state. Our children test well and attend college in relatively high numbers. We have a relatively low child obesity rate. Most kids are involved in sports. And we certainly are beautiful.I admit to being quite vain myself. I run several miles daily, pluck my eyebrows, apply wrinkle/acne cream each night and spend far too much time and money on my wardrobe.And to some degree my vanity brings me happiness. I know from experience that I am much happier showered and dressed nicely even if my day consists of nothing more than grocery shopping and tending sick children. I love the vigor and agility that decades of fitness have given me. I know that I am kinder and gentler with other people when I feel good about myself.But I've seen the darker side of my vanity when I obsess over flaws and pounds and become self-consumed. In these times depression haunts me as I become jealous and anxious.When I was expecting my third son, I called my husband from the doctor's office. "I've gained 10 pounds this month! I'm so fat! What is wrong with my body?In his sweet but firm way, my husband replied "You are pregnant. You are supposed to gain weight. There's nothing wrong with you. If you want to see someone whose body has turned on her go up to LDS Hospital to see your friend Anne in the cancer ward. She would be happy to have those 10 pounds."My friend Anne died of cancer the next day. She was 28 years old and left a loving husband and darling 3 year old daughter behind. Anne never had the chance to grow old and flabby and gray.I'd like to say that after Anne's death I never whined about my weight or appearance again, but, sadly, I still complain.Yet, in my heart I know that wrinkles and gray hair are the rewards of a life and love and laughter. Bring it on. I will happily lose my looks for the pleasure of raising my children.Ah, Salt Lake. I am glad we are so beautiful. It's lovely to live in a city that strives for excellence. But let's be sure our desire for beauty and success don't cloud our happiness. We simply have so much to live for.
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5 comments:
Amen!
It's sad that we live in an area where so many people know of and have testimonies of the gospel, the plan of salvation, and the unconditional love that our Heavenly Father has for us and yet forget so quickly when they are faced with images of unrealistic and unachievable body figures, financial status and populatity that are shown in todays media and magazines.
I second each motion made! I was at the Jazz game last night. Doug and I sat in the company seats that are really nice. We were surrounded by excitement and fun and "case-in-point" people. I have lost 50 lbs, but compared to the size 1 and big busted women around I felt so ugly. It is sad that in our society we don't always remember that we are beautiful for who we are. In example: Kira, you are beautiful for your smile, your kindness, your vast knowledge, your love and your understanding, just to name a few. You are one of the most beautiful women I know, for how you look, for WHO you ARE and what you mean to ME! I love you! Thanks for sharing that story! I appreciate it!
After moving to CHicago I realized how true all of this is.
Wow, thank you. I am so glad you understood what I was trying to express!
Warmest regards, Michelle
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