My sisters friend, the great Julianne said, "life has a way of knocking you down and dragging you around by the hair". Last week I was feeling almost bald. I was overwhelmed by the life I lead. For 15 years I was a manager. I trained other managers in efficiency. I started the day with a list and seldom went home without that list being done. The next day I would go to work and for the most part I could see the fruit of my labors. Motherhood is not like that. I have really struggled with the fact that many days all I get done is Savannah nursed and an hour or so of something fun for Keaton. The laundry never ends, the mess never ends, and the dinner just gets eaten then eliminated....which I am responsible for cleaning up after as well. I really think my kind Heavenly Father knew I was on the brink. Last Thursday I had lunch with some friends that were single and 30 with me. They both are married now. One of them has 2 kids and has survived a layoff, and now a decrease in pay from a husband that is paid on commission. The other one is well a saint :) She married a widower a year ago and went from a single 30 something to the full-time Mother of 4 boys under 8 (and is now pregnant). Can I tell you how good of a time I had? Keaton said, "Mom you look nice", as I did my hair and makeup to relive my "glory days". Can I tell you how nice it was to hear other people struggle too? That some days they wonder, what is the point? That some days they just want to burn the dirty clothes instead of washing them? That they wonder what it would be like to end the day without spit-up or some other bodily fluid on their clothes?What is even better though is when we remember the good we do. When we sit in Sacrament and Keaton can tell me the whole story of the crucifixion. When I see Keaton share and be kind to others. When Savannah smiles (yes, once again I did name her after the movie) and shows some kind of recognition of who I am. When I take the time to talk to a neighbor in the driveway who is tears over the struggles of her life. When I get a moment to go to the Temple with Lee and hold his hand and remember our sacred commitment to each other. Come to think of it....maybe THESE are the glory days.
9 comments:
This is lovely, Sister. Lovely writing, lovely thoughts.
They truly are the glory days. You will realize that more and more. They pass way too fast.
I share your pain/joy! The switch from career to motherhood is interesting to say the least! I just hold on to the cute moments when Emilie and Maren laugh at each other and hold hands and try to forget that I haven't vacuumed and that everyone is still in their pajamas!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing. I remember how hard life was when Nathan was born and I thought maybe something was wrong with me for not loving every exhausting minute - but I realized that I had to make it through and things got better. As we contemplate having another child I am terrified to relive some of those times - but I hope that this time around I will put more trust in God and be a little easier on myself!
Meesha and I used to always say having a new baby is like trying to get everything done with a broken leg. You really, literally only have one arm most of the day too. Take it easier on yourself. --You're a great mom. You're doing great.
You are amazing! I love the way you wrote this and expressed yourself. I have always looked up to you and continue to do so! Thanks for the glimpse of life!
It is so true, It makes such a big difference to share in the joys and not so joyful experiences of motherhood with good friends. Its such a good way get recharged to take on tackling the world, or the laundry! You can come over here and see the living proof of the struggle any day! Ha ha, i think you already know that. I like what Amara said, i definitely could relate to it feeling like having a broken leg, or maybe two, and a broken arm or two also.
We all struggle as mothers and we can enjoy our motherhood too. Right now my 2 year old won't take a nap today, I'm exhausted!
Nailed it! We're in this together. Were it not for those "sisters" who understand what it's like, It would be difficult to get through. At the end of the day though, you know that the craziness you go through every day is what makes life so amazing. No rest for the righteous! Love you!
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